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Hollywood Intern: Sex Sex Sex? Are You Joking?


   It’s life, liberty, and the pursuit of the California dream!

     She first met the screenwriter at a pitch meeting with the studio heads. As the writer explained his next big movie, the execs shook their heads, told rude jokes, and shot down everything he said.
     And then they reluctantly handed him a $3 million check.
     Karen, the intern, was stunned. What?! $3 million for a script? She wanted to be a part of this, whatever the hell it was.
     “I’ll help you write it,” she blurted out. Being an intern, she was supposed to just hand out the correct lattes, and keep her mouth shut.
     “And who are you?” asked the screenwriter, surprised by her outburst.
     “I’m your new intern,” said Karen.
     “Intern? I don’t have any interns.”
     “You do now!”
     He shook his head. “Writers don’t have interns.”
     “Why not?”
     “We work at home…”
     “Great. Give me a key to your house and we’ll get to work tomorrow morning.”
     “Forget it. That’s not going to happen,” he said.
     But a few days later, she was moving into his Malibu Beach house. From now on, let it be written, let it be said, writers shall have interns!

     She could have been the “intern to the stars.”

     But no. She wanted to “be the star… be the star… BE THE STAR!” she kept chanting during her morning yoga workout.

A recent phone call between the intern and her best friend:

     [© 2017 Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.]

     “Ashley, I’m going to be famous. They wrote a book about me,” said Karen, the intern, into her phone. “It’s called Hollywood Intern.”
     “Really? Never heard of it.”
     “It’s all over the place.”
     “Anybody reading it?”
     “Sure. Tons. I think it’s still going to be a bestseller.”
     “You Hollywood people,” said Ashley, doubtfully. “I suppose you’re going to make it into a big movie?”
     “Absolutely! We’re looking for a director right now. And an actress to play me. Can you believe it? Me!”
     “Aren’t movies about comic book superheroes, and fast and furious car chases these days?”
     “What about Hidden Figures?”
     “YOU didn’t get us to the moon, sweetie.”
     “Why are you being such a pill? They wrote a book about me. Couldn’t you be happy for me?”
     “Not if I don’t get to be in the movie,” Ashley said.
     “Hey, you know how sports teams are always trading their players? What if I trade you in for another best friend?”
     “As long as you trade me to Hawaii or Miami Beach. Just give me some of that warm weather. I froze my butt off here in all winter in Rochester [New York].”
     “I was thinking of Alaska. You want to be on an Eskimo team?”
     “With global warming… Yes! That could work. Just make sure it’s on the coast. I’ll open a tropical beach bar in Anchorage.”

     This novel seems to be spawning a whole new genre of movies and TV series based on interns.

Read the original intern comedy right here. It’s way better than the knock-offs. And we need your support!

     Warning: Don’t drink liquids while reading this book, because when you laugh, the liquid may go up your nose. The author assumes no liability for such side effects.

     [From the author of Murder by Elf and Robot: A cyber crime spree seems to be emanating from a family theme park. And they’re knocking off anyone who gets in their way. So private eye Weston puts himself in their way!]

           © 2017 G. Kerr; all rights reserved.



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